My dad is in brain surgery right now
I just got a call a few hours ago that my dad is in surgery following a serious fall in which he fractured his skull. After searching out my siblings and passing on the info I called my step sister back and found out that my dad actually fell yesterday at around noon. Go figure, not until after he started bleeding into his brain and they took him into surgery did they think to contact his children.
I know for most his is not so unusual but for those that know me, the twist is my dad is all I have had biologically since I was 6. He wasn't a great dad. I wish he had been. He has challenges much as my own son has with aspergers, only his never was diagnosed and everyone else has made a career out of making allowances and excuses for him. All this said, he's still my dad.
I've told my kids what is going on, I'm still in the process of tracking down one of my brothers. In fact, just got of the phone with the police dept. in Hawaii who tells me that my brother moved to Washington state three years ago. How's that for a milt family......well a girl who left "family" to find a REAL family at the MILT at least.
My step sister just called......surgery went well. They accomplished what they intended, which I assume is to stop the bleeding into the brain.
now it's wait and see.....
Cyn, Just read this. So sorry to hear about your father. Hope everything went fairly smooth with that family issues. I'm sure it was hard enough dealing with the loss but no one needs the added stress at that time.
Funeral is over. They are doing the cremation right now and tomorrow afternoon they are putting dad in the ground next to my Mom. I thank God he is next to her.
Thank you all for your love and support.
Cyn
Just came from the wake. We got there one hour before this was opened for family. I took quiet time to say goodbye to dad. Then when we were out in the entry area one of the guys that works there came up and gave me a program to see before he printed off several more of them. My brothers were notoriously missing from the honorary pall bearers list. Her kids were all there.
Later in the night guy redid them and added all the kids. Just the fact they'd do it without us to start with.......need I say more
cyn,
I'm truely sorry for your lose. I glad you have your husband to lean on. I'll pray you get through this as painlessly as possible.
Sara
and am so sorry to hear.
If you're coming to MN bring and extra layer of everything,we're crawling out of a deep freeze starting this weekend.
I'm sorry for your loss.
May he rest in peace....................
My father's funeral will be held Saturday January 17, the day of my mom's birthday. At last they are together.
I am grateful for one piece of news which is that my father's ashes will be buried next to my mom and he will be given an matching stone. He will have a viewing and a funeral before he is cremated. Not sure of the internment date, maybe Sunday or Monday. Viewing is tomorrow from 3-7 with the first hour being family only. Funeral Sat at 1pm with open casket viewing one hour before and closing casket with family present before the services.
I have two childhood friends who have offered to be there through this all to give me strength as I deal with this and my family. I am blessed to have friends such as you all and them and my wonderful husband and children.
Dusty is here with me but a bit freaked at the thought of the open casket viewing. To quote him, "whoever thought of that!!?" He has the option of not going as far as I'm concerned. It'll be up to him.
All of your prayers are appreciated. I do need my strength to get though this.
Love to all, CYN
So sorry to hear this. Glad to hear you found your brother, he needs to know.
read of the passing of your father. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as you travel, as you deal with the "family" issues, and especially as you grieve the loss of your dad. Call if you need an ear! Love ya.
Cyn to you and your family.
Losing a parent is never easy, even one that would'nt have qualified as parent-of-the-year.
God Bless you all!
Maureen
My oldest brother called at 2 a.m. to tell me dad passed.
Thank you for trying to help find Loren. I tracked him down and had the police go to his home to tell him. He called me right away to make sure I was ok but won't be attending the funeral due to step family issues. I notified my other brother and my sister as well. They are making arrangements for my dad right now and I'm about to go pick up my boys from school and tell them.
Please, keep me in your prayers, family fued may be about to break out. My youngest brother wanted only our family to have his number, no steps and I have to honor that. I don't think others will however and some can't control their mouths. Please, no advice here, just keep us in your thoughts. I have been through the drill too many times with this bunch. it was not a great place to live.
I've not had any luck searching for your brother. Just know we are all here for you!
Cyndy,
We are here for you, know that. She can not take away the fact that you ae blood. She was a choice(we all make choices that others don't understand), you on the other hand were given to your father as a gift from GOD, she can never take that away. I am praying you find your brother, I know it is weighing heavy on you mind.
Sara
I'm in Bloomington which is about 1.5-2 hrs away.
he's at St Mary's in Rochester, MN. Hometown is Owatonna.
Dad's breathing but shallow and raspy. Not sure there are brain waves other than that. Still waiting.
Had to deal with talking to my step mother today. Let's just say it reminded me why I left home at 13.
To sum it up. I need prayers, I need strength
Thank you all. c
My youngest son has opted to go to MN with us when the time comes. My oldest wants to stay here so he doesn't miss school. He is also BP and it is overwhelmingly sad for him. I told them both they are old enough at 13 1/2 and 15 1/2 to make that decision and I respect it. I won't put any pressure on them either way. My youngest said he doesn't want to go to the service though and I had told him he doesn't have to. My family can deal with that however they wish but I respect my son's position. My dad wasn't really a part of thier lives and he only remembers seeing him less than a handful of times and then only briefly.
My work gives a 3 day leave for funerals but James work only pays for a one day although you can take up to three. Who decided three days is enough for these things?
is your dad?
Thank you all. I appreciate it. Having a Milt family to lean on as well as a wonderful husband and kids who are handling this so well is really a help.
My youngest son has opted to go to MN with us when the time comes. My oldest wants to stay here so he doesn't miss school. He is also BP and it is overwhelmingly sad for him. I told them both they are old enough at 13 1/2 and 15 1/2 to make that decision and I respect it. I won't put any pressure on them either way. My youngest said he doesn't want to go to the service though and I had told him he doesn't have to. My family can deal with that however they wish but I respect my son's position. My dad wasn't really a part of thier lives and he only remembers seeing him less than a handful of times and then only briefly.
My work gives a 3 day leave for funerals but James work only pays for a one day although you can take up to three. Who decided three days is enough for these things?
about your dad Cyndy, this is a tough thing to go thru, I know that. Our prayers are with you and I am glad you have a wonderful husband now who you can lean on for support.
Cyn,
I am sorry for what you are going through, I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
Sara
They removed respiratioin and feeding tubes from my Dad today. Except for one IV which they can give him pain meds through to keep and Tylenol to control the fever he's still running due to an infection they believe is in his blood he is off everything. Dad is opening his eyes but doesn't focus on anything or anyone. He simply has a blank stare. He cannot communicate. He is breathing on his own but as I said, has no kind of recognition or focus and cannot eat. This is really hard.
Thank you Markus. I believe in miracles too. actually, they said I would die when I was born and I guess I proved them wrong. Dad is older though, about 76 I believe and there was a lot of damage when he fell. It's a miracle that he didn't die from the fall the drs said. His quality of life won't be very well if he comes through they believe and they don't expect he will make it more than a few more days. The irony of it being the week of Mom's birthday makes it a little easier actually. Kind of like Mom is watching over him.
Life goes on for us and if there is one thing I have learned in my life it's that death is a part of the cycle.
Thanks. Work is going to be challenging more than usual today.
Cyn
Thank you. We all thought he was still in Honalulu however through the police there we found out he moved to Washington state three years ago. I did find a listing with his name and have left 2 messages and no answer. Honestly, He could be anywhere.
His name is Loren Schull and he was born 1-18 and is around 46 or 47 (birthday coming up throws me off at the moment as to exact age). I did find the listing in Tacoma, WA but it's a dead end and the police there say they can only give me listing out of phone book which is the same as the one I have. DMV would be more helpful I think as that is how the Hawaii police tracked his cancelled drivers lic.
He should at least know about Dad and have the opportunity to be there.
Thank you for your gracious offer. Thank GOD I'm a milt.
Cyn
I believe miracles happen every day. I know that his chances sound slim but it's not over until he's gone. I will be praying for him and his loved ones.
let us help? What is your brothers name and last know location? maybe we can help with some research??
It's a matter of days now. he is not improving and the seizures have damaged his health too much. Feeding tubes and respiration tubes are being removed monday.
I can't leave due to my work and my husbands until something happens. I can't find my youngest brother to tell him. My oldest brother is flying in on Tues. The rest are local so they are nearby. Now, we wait.........
Just an exercise in survival
moving his leg is a good thing.
Don't forget to breathe.
Dad has had a fever for three days now. He had some seizures which isn't unusual with brain injury/surgery and such. They have had him sedated for the last 24 hours. He hasn't been fully brought out of sedation since surgery. When they started to and before the resedation for the seizures he started coughing so they are now checking for further infection (such as pneumonia no doubt).
He has brain waves and pupils are responding to light. He's apparently moved one of his legs but there's no way of knowing still regarding motor function and recognition.
And I still have had no luck locating my youngest brother.
As for me and mine, we are hanging tight and waiting.
I wish your dad has a full & speedy recovery.........................
Our thoughts and prayers go out to your dad, you and your family. Hoping for a speedy recovery
need the surgery and the other half of your family were slow to say anything. Good to hear that surgery is done and he mending.
You've got 2 newly-wedded,strong shoulders that you know you can count on but don't forget that you have many more here.
We'll put your dad in our prayers.
you know where to find many shoulders to lean on.
Cyn, make sure he has someone staying with him at all times. Any brain injury comes with possible complications that nursing staff may not pick up on because they are all so busy with their other patients.
I hope everything works out for the best, and you know you can call me any time!
Cyn,
I'm sorry that your year is starting out this way but he's come through surgery and now you have us to lean on and to pray with you and for you. Keep us posted and remember we're pulling for you.
sara
Surgery went as well as it could. They said that he's lucky to be alive after the fall. I think they have stopped the bleeding into the brain.
Life is strange. I find myself remembering the man he was before Mom died.
wishing your father a speedy recovery
Thank you Vicki. Even though dad wasn't the model father, he was the only parent I had for 34 years. It's hard to beieve it has been a year since dad's death but I take comfort that I have my Milt Family. God gave me all of you to show me what family is really all about and I embrace that!